Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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