Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
