remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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