A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
