I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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