At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
