i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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