the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
