You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Do you have feelings for this penis?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
