Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize