i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
