I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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