I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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