It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
