i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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