why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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