This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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