Nicole vs. Life
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I've blown a few things in my day
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
