I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
