A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
