that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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