i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
