is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
