I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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