i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I've blown a few things in my day
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
