Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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