We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
