He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
