You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
