Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
