After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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