The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
