And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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