This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
