i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
