my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
