i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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