you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize