forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
