Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
