People with herpes should wear stickers.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
