She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
