why didn't you poke me back
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
