worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
