Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We had to coat check the pizza.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
