He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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