you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
