...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
