why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
