seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
