I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You ruined the universe
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
