Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
