I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize