I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
