mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
this just has baby written all over it
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
