So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
