needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
