Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
