she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
