break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
