he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
