okay pat passed out under dana's car
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You dont lie about slip and slides
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I did not marry a roomba.
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